The link between phones and anxiety I believe most adults understand that kids using phones contributes to feelings of anxiety, that the access to applications (apps) such as facebook, snapchat, tiktok etc, particularly in an unsupervised situation, can be harmful.
Why is this the case?
Children don't have the capacity to rationalise and discern what is suitable for their age group. They simply click on something interesting and follow the link. They can be approached by unsuitable adults whose intentions may be dangerous. They can be drawn into online discussions where hurtful behaviour occurs, yet unable to pull themselves away from engaging with it, believing what is said about them or their family. Bottom line - children need guidance to navigate the world. Especially the online world.
Children are easy to manipulate
Added to this, the developers of phone apps understand very well the nature of addiction. They are paid to create programs that will keep people staring at the screen and engaging with the device, so that more time is spent being exposed to the advertisers who largely pay for the company to produce the app in the first place. It's a neat circle, don't you think? A circle of addiction. Before you know it, you've bought something through Instagram that you didn't really need. Before kids realise what has happened, they have given away personal details that nefarious persons can use to entrap them, manipulate them or expose them to material that is devastatingly harmful, perhaps even drive a wedge between parents and children.
While some adults can recognise when they are being manipulated and put the device aside, children have an underdeveloped area of the brain, the frontal lobe, where decision making and risk aversion are located. When these areas are not fully developed, (development finishes at age 25) the person takes risks without much care, is impulsive, and isn't capable of thinking through the possible consequences that may arise from their decision. Hence, kids being drawn into sexting, not even realising how dangerous it is to them personally and the impacts it will have on future adult relationships.
Children are very easily drawn to apps such as snapchat, where they experience bullying and a constant state of anxiety about what other children think of them. Added to that, it is much easier to make sacrcastic and nasty comments about someone online than in person. It's fun to be cruel online. There is no adult there to stop you or remind you that being kind is far more appropriate, that being mean is hurtful. There are no limits.
So, how many kids in Australia actually have phones?
According to The Australian Communications and Media Authority, in June 2019-June 2020 46% of children aged 6-13 had access to or owned their own phone. What's interesting to me is the disparity between the reasons parents think their child should be allowed to have a phone and the actual use of the device that results. Do kids make calls with their phones? Sure. Do they play games? Watch youtube? Listen to music? Take photos? Receive texts from their friends? The MAIN activity kids use phones for is not for communication. It's not for taking photos and sharing them. It's for PLAYING GAMES. So as a communication device, its fails miserably in its purpose. It's almost purely for entertainment.
Statistically, as illustrated by the above graph, the reasons kids use their phones is described in order of use here, beginning with the most popular:
1. Games 60%-73%
2. take photos and videos 59%-70%
3. use apps 53%-68%
4. send or receive texts 53%-63%
5. call parents/family 56% -61%
6. listen to music 50%-57%
7. receive calls from parents/family 53%-57%
8. access to the internet 36%-42%
9. receive calls from friends 36%-42%
10. call friends 36%-42%
Games are just for fun aren't they?
Games seem like just a fun way to spend some time, don't they? Parents all over the world can get on with making dinner while junior is occupied with their phone and not pestering Mum and Dad. And there's also the idea that games can be educational. Don't get me started on that! The idea that games can be a substitute for direct instruction is ridiculous. And I should know. I spent my 28 year career working with kids at risk of academic failure, kids with high IQs, kids with learning problems, kids with speech and language problems, kids with emotional and social issues.
So what's the link with anxiety?
So, where am I going with this? How does a phone contribute to anxiety in children?
If you've read my previous posts you might recall that technology cannot replace personal interactions in a physical sense. To be in the actual moment with someone, in the same physical space, is much more powerful. You pick up on signals that your conscious mind doesn't even know how to process. That's called instinct. You become aware of a persona's facial features, their body movements, their pupil dilation. You may even subconsciously pick up on subtle smells, chemicals released by their body, such as sweat due to nervousness, adrenaline fuelled anger etc. And you may feel a chemical - the best one of all, oxytocin, released in the brain when people hug each other and which gives a sense of happiness and well being. All these interactions are possible only in the physical sense, with real people, in real time.
How children miss out
Children who spend their time online or playing games miss out on all of this. They are disconnected from their environment. This disconnection can also cause their fight or flight response to be impaired or make them hyper vigilant, as any physical interaction or presence in the room breaks their mental focus on the phone and can scare them. Kids can also become so addicted to the phone that they become angry when forced to disengage. I have seen it myself - kids come over for a sleepover with my child and end up staring at their phone instead of having fun with my child. Which was not only socially extremely rude but rather painful emotionally. In addition, kids who don't engage with actual physical play miss out on so much more. They don't learn to assess physical risk adequately by testing their strength, skills, and dangers. They don't participate in healthy competition. They don't have the satisfaction of achieving physical goals like running fast, riding their bikes through a difficult obstacle course for instance, or building things with their hands. Its the physical learning that benefits a child's brain the most.
The good news!
Yes, children as young as 6 years of age have their own phone. But the good news is there are still 54% of Australian children aged 6-13 who don't have a phone or access to one.
Schools and whole countries are taking steps to discourage children from using phones so much. In France, mobile phones were banned from schools since 2018. A top Sydney school banned ipads in 2019 as they found the devices were distracting and did not improve learning outcomes for students.
What can we do as parents?
- Firstly, get this straight with your child - using a phone is a privilege, not a right. When YOU are ready to provide one, you will.
- A child must be educated in the proper use of a phone before actually owning one.
- A child must respect your phone and your privacy therein before earning the right to own one. Keep your phone password locked and do not share the password with your child.
- A child under the age of 15 should not have a phone. It's that simple. They don't need it for safety. They should always be under the supervision of an adult, whether at school or at home. They are not in danger.
- A child under 15 cannot understand what responsible use is. They don't have the brain development to understand the dangers. That's your job as parent.
- A child should not take a phone to school. It's too tempting to use it in class. Plus they may be influenced by other children who show them how to download apps and other unsuitable things.
- When you do finally give in, provide a phone that is restricted to phone and text only, for communication with friends and most importantly FAMILY. Talk and text packages cost as little as $5 a month. (Dodo)
- Only provide internet access through 'hotspot' on your phone for a specified short period of time. Again, its not a right, it's a privilege.
- Encourage use of approved apps that encourage real interactions with suitable people, such as family and close friends. I recommend closely monitored use of Instagram, to post photos of their interests (but not endless selfies) and ONLY a private account. Teach your child how to manage advertising on it.
**** I hope this helps you. Entering the shadowy world of mobile phone use isn't something to be done lightly. Children require our experience and knowledge of the dangers. And we have to be strong to resist their blackmail! Good luck. It will be worth it, to protect your child from developing serious anxiety.
