So, your little boy was born and he was the cutest little man in your universe. He grew strong, he pushed through the boundaries of walking and talking. Now you have a mini-man in your house, but you seem to clash some times. Does he respect you? Is he going to respect other women? Are you running around doing things for him all the time but want him to be independent? Does he seem lazy? Unrepentant? Too impulsive? Easily angered? Too sensitive? Argumentative? Depressed?
Where does all this anger come from?
Just yesterday was my first day back with some of my students after being away for two months on long service leave. It seems they missed me. One boy in particular refused to work with the replacement teacher, which is lovely for my ego, but meant he went backwards in his confidence. He suffers badly from high expectations of himself and just shuts down when he doesn't think he can do something. This affects his home life (his parents have tried everything but sometimes he just refuses to cooperate) and school, (he struggles with friendships. He's difficult to be around). He dragged his feet inside the room, didn't make eye contact. I got the monosyllabic answers and plenty of 'I don't knows.'
He was angry and he was depressed.
Lots of people only see the anger. They don't see the acute sadness in boys that lies underneath. Boys strive to be what their biological imperative drives them to be - strong. Brave. Independent. Clever. When a boy feels like a failure he's not angry at the world, he's angry at himself.
The importance of Dads and Mums in a boy's life
Most of us reason that a father is the most important figure in a young by's life, especially from the age of 5 or 6, as they start to think about themselves as men of the future and wonder how they should behave and think. Of course, boys need their dad. Its absolutely crucial. And if Dad isn't around a good, reliable male role model who is there a lot of the time. Someone to bond with.
But what about mums?
An excellent book that will help you!
Dr Kevin Leman, one of my absolute all-time favourite authors has written a book specifically for mums, because you know what? Mums play a crucial role in how their sons turn out. What you do and say affects the kind of man your son will be. What kind of man, husband, partner do you want your son to be for the future woman in his life? Well, you want him to be kind, practical, respectful and loving of her. You want him to be confident as he strides out into the world. You want him to take good care of his own health, and so on. How you interact with him, what you expect, what you teach him is vital to his success.
So I urge you to get your hands on this book. You won't be disappointed. Kevin gives you the straight facts and with so much love and humour. What a Difference a Mom Makes
No comments:
Post a Comment